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anger management (The idea was there, but shame about the execution)

"Ahh.. I feel like smashing things to pieces again..."

Sheesh, its the umpteenth time today that i felt like doing that... The thought of my bad back infuriates me... When can it recover? It's been like hurting for months and months and almost a year now. I feel sick and tired having to nurse it without much effect. It limits my mobility severely.

Here i am again, spending the day away wastefully playing the -love of my live-, Championship Manager 2003/04, on my PC. Needless to say, i find myself angry again. Playing with a good friend of mine over the net, our teams met in the game, and i got thrashed 6-2. Its such a trivial thing, looking back at it, but it was another instance when i got worked up for nothing.

Over the course of my life, i bet i have built up a reputation of flaring up for the slightest of reasons... Hate that tag, BIG TIME. I thought i have calmed down over the years, but looking back, i dont think i did.

There was this incident sometime back, while i was playing soccer with my mates, 1 of them fired a shot which ended up against my bad lower back, i just turned around and let vulgarities out all over the place... To his credit, he didnt even bother to argue back, and ignored me asif im crazy, sheesh... i AM nuts. Sorry to the guy, you know who you are. :D

More recently, there has been some pranksters plucking away the leaves and destroying my mum's plants that's left on the corridor. My family got a faint idea of whose the culprit, but couldn't get any proof on it... and that day, i almost took matters into my own hand... I stared at the "Culprit's" plants and was already itching to go over and do some -gardening-... so much so that until my parents lectured me out of it.

There are many more such instances which i shall refrain from revealing, dun wish to shame myself any further.

I really hope i could change for the better... :

1. Shall remain calm in all incidents that's "designed to incur anger"
2. Shall remain calm
and finally,
3. Remain calm

(Sounds real crappy but i felt that's the only way to keep my anger in check.)

I got a favour to ask from those who know me, do tell me, if I -ever- did change for the better regarding my horrible temperament.


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