Just downloaded the chinese song.. Old song. It's actually a remix by Andy Lau and Jacky Wu, got some dialogue in the middle of the song which is quite funny. Listening to them, makes me wonder, when I grow up to become a middle aged guy, would I have a group of male friends to laugh, cry, sing, chat with me? Haha. Thinking too much already.
Half the world is into Hari Raya le, at this point of time. I will like to take this opportunity again to wish all muslims in the world Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! =]
Anyway, I shall move on with some thoughts of my own. Recent events have made me pretty tired, disillusioned. FYP, work, stuffs that really drained me... I finally figured out that perhaps I shld just leave everything to destiny or fate. I no longer feel that I have the will to change things or shape my own path to my future. I dun think I have the determination nor the ability to really gave a big shakeup to how my life's gonna be. Perhaps for some people, "When there's a will, there's a way" cliche would be more apt for them, but not me.
I guess I will be neutral in the future, dun get overly panicky and overly agitated with things that doesn't go my way. I believe things would even their way out. I will just do my part and see what comes my way. Haha. Sound pretty hopeless man.
Felt like I had the symptoms as listed in those depression posters posted at some bus shelters. Haha. In the poster, they asked "Feel that life is hopeless all the time?" and then they say "Perhaps you are suffering from Depression." HA! I guess I need to dial the hot-line straightaway.
I have never been too bad in life, but neither am I too good... I'm always snugly fit into the very centre of standards. Always the "Mr Average" among everybody.
I can't sing as well as the pros but I think I could sing better than some.
I had flat foot symptoms but it wasn't as bad as the other flatfoot-ed people. I could still run and do streneous exercise.
I didn't achieve Master Sergeant rank while in NCC, or achieved any post within the setup while I was back in Sec 4, but I did get a 1st sergeant rank.
I didn't score very well among my pri 6 class to go to any of the prestigious SAP school, but I made it into BP, which was referred to in the past as the "RI of the West".
I'm no party animal (never partied in discotheque before) , but neither am I an extreme nerd (I can't study for hours straight).
I'm alright in soccer, cant do stepovers, but yet able to do a telling pass or score the old spectacular goal. (Ok, maybe that was in the past.)
I had only 1 girlfriend before, and even that lasted for just 1 month! Not too many, not too long (duration), not zero, and not too short. (This is a statistic I have been trying to change, and change I did not.)
Even my height. At 1,75m, I'm just an average height SG chap. Nowadays, there are those towers walking about, that I feel a sense of inferiority whenever I brushed shoulders (well at least tried to) with them.
I am just so average that I really dunno what I am really good at. Haha. Someone tell me. I'm feeling so hopeless, so down. Why am I born into this world as Me?
The other day I was in this bus, looking at the window.. suddenly caught sight of 1 small living white organism which is about the size of 1/12 of a sesame street? It was slowly moving up and down the glass window of the bus, and my heart really goes out to the poor chap man. I don't even know if it could see, but it have to go around aimlessly until it finds a reason why it was brought here into this world. Perhaps I am just a enlarged version of that "speck of dust" organism, unsure of why I am here, and what my destiny or aim in life actually is. All I could do is wander about aimlessly, knocking on the 'doors in life'.
Sometimes I wonder, where do we go after we move on into so called "Afterlife"? Do we really actually assume another form of ourselves in another world? Or do we just *poof* into thin air? I remember reading this novel about Death going around the world collecting perfectly balanced souls (equal good & evil) due to the difficulty in determining whether they shld go to Heaven, Hell or even Purgatory? He met this 'client' of his and before dying, that client saw Death has came to pick him, and then he told Death, "I don't believe in Afterlife", after which, when he died, his soul just shattered into many pieces. Death couldn't fathom why he couldn't collect the soul he was sent to collect.
Haha. I read this book alot of years back, but its still as fresh as if it was read just yesterday. From then till now, I been wondering what I should believe in. Continue to think there is life in "Afterlife" after I completed my aim in life and done and dusted with it? Or... I would just cease to exist in any form/shape of life?
Perhaps after saying so much, I probably revealed myself to be very self-centered, or rather very scared of death itself. No doubt, I admit that I am afraid of death, but very few can truly claim that they aren't. But as time and events passed by, I felt galvanised by every single failure I encountered, every single mistakes I made, every single gut feeling I experienced, and slowly and surely I would not be afraid as surely one day, it will be my time to go as well.
With that, I leave u guys with a quote, not of my own but of somebody I nvr really know of before. I wish we could do like he said. Haha. Sorry for spoiling your mood if indeed that was the case. Thanks for reading up till here. It's been a bloody long post. Haha
"He who frights and runs away lives to run away another day." - Bob Shaw
Half the world is into Hari Raya le, at this point of time. I will like to take this opportunity again to wish all muslims in the world Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! =]
Anyway, I shall move on with some thoughts of my own. Recent events have made me pretty tired, disillusioned. FYP, work, stuffs that really drained me... I finally figured out that perhaps I shld just leave everything to destiny or fate. I no longer feel that I have the will to change things or shape my own path to my future. I dun think I have the determination nor the ability to really gave a big shakeup to how my life's gonna be. Perhaps for some people, "When there's a will, there's a way" cliche would be more apt for them, but not me.
I guess I will be neutral in the future, dun get overly panicky and overly agitated with things that doesn't go my way. I believe things would even their way out. I will just do my part and see what comes my way. Haha. Sound pretty hopeless man.
Felt like I had the symptoms as listed in those depression posters posted at some bus shelters. Haha. In the poster, they asked "Feel that life is hopeless all the time?" and then they say "Perhaps you are suffering from Depression." HA! I guess I need to dial the hot-line straightaway.
I have never been too bad in life, but neither am I too good... I'm always snugly fit into the very centre of standards. Always the "Mr Average" among everybody.
I can't sing as well as the pros but I think I could sing better than some.
I had flat foot symptoms but it wasn't as bad as the other flatfoot-ed people. I could still run and do streneous exercise.
I didn't achieve Master Sergeant rank while in NCC, or achieved any post within the setup while I was back in Sec 4, but I did get a 1st sergeant rank.
I didn't score very well among my pri 6 class to go to any of the prestigious SAP school, but I made it into BP, which was referred to in the past as the "RI of the West".
I'm no party animal (never partied in discotheque before) , but neither am I an extreme nerd (I can't study for hours straight).
I'm alright in soccer, cant do stepovers, but yet able to do a telling pass or score the old spectacular goal. (Ok, maybe that was in the past.)
I had only 1 girlfriend before, and even that lasted for just 1 month! Not too many, not too long (duration), not zero, and not too short. (This is a statistic I have been trying to change, and change I did not.)
Even my height. At 1,75m, I'm just an average height SG chap. Nowadays, there are those towers walking about, that I feel a sense of inferiority whenever I brushed shoulders (well at least tried to) with them.
I am just so average that I really dunno what I am really good at. Haha. Someone tell me. I'm feeling so hopeless, so down. Why am I born into this world as Me?
The other day I was in this bus, looking at the window.. suddenly caught sight of 1 small living white organism which is about the size of 1/12 of a sesame street? It was slowly moving up and down the glass window of the bus, and my heart really goes out to the poor chap man. I don't even know if it could see, but it have to go around aimlessly until it finds a reason why it was brought here into this world. Perhaps I am just a enlarged version of that "speck of dust" organism, unsure of why I am here, and what my destiny or aim in life actually is. All I could do is wander about aimlessly, knocking on the 'doors in life'.
Sometimes I wonder, where do we go after we move on into so called "Afterlife"? Do we really actually assume another form of ourselves in another world? Or do we just *poof* into thin air? I remember reading this novel about Death going around the world collecting perfectly balanced souls (equal good & evil) due to the difficulty in determining whether they shld go to Heaven, Hell or even Purgatory? He met this 'client' of his and before dying, that client saw Death has came to pick him, and then he told Death, "I don't believe in Afterlife", after which, when he died, his soul just shattered into many pieces. Death couldn't fathom why he couldn't collect the soul he was sent to collect.
Haha. I read this book alot of years back, but its still as fresh as if it was read just yesterday. From then till now, I been wondering what I should believe in. Continue to think there is life in "Afterlife" after I completed my aim in life and done and dusted with it? Or... I would just cease to exist in any form/shape of life?
Perhaps after saying so much, I probably revealed myself to be very self-centered, or rather very scared of death itself. No doubt, I admit that I am afraid of death, but very few can truly claim that they aren't. But as time and events passed by, I felt galvanised by every single failure I encountered, every single mistakes I made, every single gut feeling I experienced, and slowly and surely I would not be afraid as surely one day, it will be my time to go as well.
With that, I leave u guys with a quote, not of my own but of somebody I nvr really know of before. I wish we could do like he said. Haha. Sorry for spoiling your mood if indeed that was the case. Thanks for reading up till here. It's been a bloody long post. Haha
"He who frights and runs away lives to run away another day." - Bob Shaw
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